He’ll call himself THE YOUNG RANDY VELARDE for no discernable reason. He’ll string four references to four Chicago athletes in three different sports in two bars. He’ll come up with multi-syllabic rhymes for sports figures like Boomer Esiason (niacin) or bodybuilder Gerrit Badenhorst (banana Porsche). He’ll name songs after athletes like Chuck Person and Larry Csonka, just because he feels like it. He won’t just seamlessly drop a reference to Arvydas Sabonis in the middle of a bar - he’ll do so while accurately noting Sabonis’ reputation as a nifty passer. The randomness and precision of rapper Action Bronson’s sports shoutouts are unrivaled.
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